Return to Whole 30, Day 18: Scenes

A collection of scenes from my neighborhood that I observed today, May 18, 2020. Because I honestly don’t have anything interesting to write about with my Whole 30 diet. Really. At this point, it just is.

• There’s a homeless dude I’ve seen wandering around Davis, Ball, and Union Squares for about nine years now. Every morning when I walk down to get my iced tea and my lottery scratch ticket at the convenience store in Powderhouse Square, he’s there too. I sit on one of the benches that looks out at a funeral home and the green fields of Tufts University, and I eat my Larabar and sip on my iced tea and stare out into the morning. He sits quietly a few benches away and tugs on his mask and picks at random things on the ground. It’s our little ritual before we go start our days.
• There’s one street here in Somerville that has a sticker from every single Democratic candidate on either a house, car, or both. It starts off pretty standard — a Warren and a Sanders next to each other. Then there’s a Buttigieg and a Klobuchar. Walk a little further, and you’ll find a Yang and a Biden, and then the rarest of them all — an Inslee 2020 sticker (on a hybrid, of course). To cap it all off, at the end of the street, there’s one house PLASTERED with Warren signs right across the street from one that still has a bunch of Amy 2020 signs. I like to imagine the residents of either household coming out and arguing pleasantly for a minute, then sharing some toilet paper and heading back inside to watch MSNBC.
• On the other hand, there’s one asshole house full of assholes right by the bike path in Davis Square that has a TRUMP/PENCE 2020 sign in their window. I like to flip it off every time I go by. I’ve seen plenty of other people doing that too.
• Dogs. So many people have them. They’re all good dogs, aren’t they? There’s a puppy that I see almost every day after my own walk — he strolls around with his master right when I’m done. It’s a beautiful little lab. Sometimes he’ll pass right by my house and try to come to see me for a pet. Dogs don’t get the social distancing menu. Also, my neighborhood — for some reason — is littered with Bernese mountain dogs. There are about four of them in Teele Square alone. Now THOSE are the best dogs. They’re just giant, friendly, hilarious doofuses. I like how they try to steamroll other little dogs with hugs.
• You see where everyone comes from. Everyone’s strolling around with their college sweatshirts from all over the country. I try to make up little biographies for each one of them. How did that couple with the TULANE sweats make their way up here? Or that kid from CREIGHTON? I could talk to the woman with the LEHIGH tee about the time they upset Duke in the first round. I forget that this city is a world of transplants.
• The best thing I saw today? A family — mom, dad, dog, and baby — walking by the closed-down sewing shop across the street from my house. The dad has the baby strapped to the front of his chest. He’s vocalizing (in ba-bum, do-doo fashion) “Two Princes” by the Spin Doctors, and making his delighted little kid wave his arms and legs around like a pinwheel to the beat. The dad stops in front of the sewing-shop to show the happy, pinwheeling baby his reflection, doing a little white-man dance at the same time — all as the mom stands there with the dog, shaking her masked head in bemusement. The most charming sight.
• Eighteen days down. Twelve to go. I’ve got this.